We're like a lot better than the average bears
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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