Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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