so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
