I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
