please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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