Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is Oprah even human
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
