pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
