Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
