I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
