dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
