There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
