I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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