Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
