VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
