I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
