At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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