I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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