This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So much rum. So many feels.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
