omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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