I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
