Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
