did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
