I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
