I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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