C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
