I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
did you just send me my own nude
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
