My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she told me i tasted like america
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
