Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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