Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
