worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
