how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
