I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
