i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
