I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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