Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
