cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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