This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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