i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
