Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
