I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
