And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
