I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
