nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
