This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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