Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
