its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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