your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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