It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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