my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
