if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
