I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
