There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
