I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
