The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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