he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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