Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
