ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
